live-haunted

i watch you tread gently on the edges of yourself, remaining in the penumbra between all and nothing - a sub-atomic mystery unable to be solved. yesterday, you couldn't decide whether to fuse or fold back together and instead curled inward underneath your own spine like a rose crushed in a fist, only the fist forgot to show up and roses don't grow in hospitals. some days, love, you are almost radioactive enough to be a half-life. i think this is the saddest thing of all because on those days i find myself believing you might just make it.

"Doctor?" I questioned uneasily. The figures and faces around me nodded, shifting around unsettlingly as if staying still was too much work for them "I don't need a Doctor, I'm fine." I had no desire to see the Doctor. Even the title sent shivers down my spine. "We know dear, but we were thinking that some people mature faster than others, and that maybe you should see the Doctor earlier," one of the figures said. I couldn't even see them, for I was seated in a hard chair that dug into my back while everyone else was crowed around me. Their like faces and similar statures all began to blur into one solid black surrounding of grey and more g

i keep having psychosomatic symptoms of drowning in the tar-colored liquid in your lungs and i know that is selfish because i still have air when you do not, and if i could i would breathe into your lungs like an inhaler; but all i can do is write these words as if that fucking helps at all.